Marry Me
by M1CH3
Summary: Cal asks Gillian to marry him. I own nothing all mistakes are mine. hope you like it
1. chapter 1

Cal stood with his shoulder against the door jam, watching Gillian as she worked in her office. She hadn't looked up yet even though he knew she knew he was there.

"Marry me."

Her head shot up. Fingers frozen in the position of writing in what he would guess were budget reports. Confusion written all over her face. Also, there was a touch of intrigue, and dare he hope, arousal. Confusion won in the end with a touch of concern. Then she smiled. "What's the case?"

"No case, Just asking the most amazing woman I know to marry me." He honestly didn't know what had gotten into him about this. But after weeks of thinking about how much he loved her, all of her, and how long he had loved her, although he had only just admitted to himself and Emily of course, how deep that love ran...oh crap, he is even thinking in run on sentences.

He watched, concern was back on her face, as she elegantly rose from her seat and walked towards him.

Gently Gillian placed her hand on his forehead. "you don't seem to be running a fever."

"I'm serious Gillian." and he caught her hand in mild frustration.

She watched him intently for a moment. He could see the moment she realized he was actually serious."Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why are you asking me?"

"Why aren't you answering?"

Gillian gracefully walked back to her desk and sat down.

"Give me a good reason."

"Because we make sense."

She laughed at that. It just came out. Of all the reasons she never thought he would go with 'we make sense'"

"Oy, no laughing when I'm being serious."

She knew he was serious which was why she was terrified. "In what Universe do we make sense?"

"This one. Listen Gill. I know this is an ….odd…way of doing things…"

"Odd? This goes beyond odd."

"Just hear me out would you?" He is really starting to get irritated with her. He would throw his hands up in the air if he hadn't caught the micro expressions for curiosity and arousal mixed in with the fear and terror of what he was saying.

"You know how much I love Em. The best day in my life was the day I held her for the first time, and every day with her is a wonder. I'm guessing I don't need to go into my feelings about the truth. Finding the truth can be an obsession for me at times."

Gillian raised her eyebrow. "At times?"

"Don't raise that thing at me. You are just as obsessed as I am, you are just nicer about it. And that brings me to how I feel about you. I have been thinking about things for a while now and realize that I'm a total coward when it comes to you. With Em, no matter how grown up she becomes, she will always be my daughter, she will always be a part of me. You, well…um…This company…" Cal stopped and took a cleansing breath. He knew this wasn't going to be easy to get through, but this is seriously pushing all his panic buttons.

"What about this company?" Gillian asked when he took a little too long to respond.

"I realized recently that I started this company because I wanted you to stay in my life."

"You mean everything is a lie?"

"No, the company is real, the science is real, and your talents _are_ a perfect pairing, which made things a whole lot easier...um..well...I just didn't disclose all of my original motives. I mean, we were both married and I wasn't going to break up our lives, but I couldn't give you up either. So I took what I could. Friends. And you have been the best friend anyone could ever have wanted. And well, after some much needed soul searching, I realized that I want more. I want…"

"To marry me….?" Gillian was confused, and elated. She hadn't been reading him wrong all these years.

"Yes."

Gillian just looked at him. He was getting a bit uncomfortable under the scrutiny, but this is what he wanted and he wasn't going to shoot himself in the foot by running away.

"Gill, you are the first thing I think of when I wake up, the last think of when I go to sleep. Getting to see you every morning gets me out of bed and to the office. Your smile is my favorite gift, the real ones, the ones that scrunch up your eyes. And knowing that I put a few of them there makes me happy. "

"Didn't realize you were so sappy."

Cal gave her a bashful grin and stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Wasn't my first choice, but I kinda thought it would be the best…"

He watched as she slowly stood and walked around to him. "What other way were you thinking about?"

Cal looked at her. The fear was still there, but so was the desire. "Pushing you up against the wall and kissing you until you would say yes to anything I asked" Cal noticed that her face remained impassive but her breathing hitched for a moment pupils were blown until only a thin ring of blue surrounded them. She wasn't immune to him him. He could would with that. He stepped closer to her. Invading her personal space.

She wasn't immune to the man. She never was. He never seemed to notice how easily he turned her on. She figured she would be just another conquest and that would ruin the wonderful relationships they did have. Usually when he invaded her space she took a step back, she didn't this time. She stood her ground. She was trying so hard to control her reactions to him, keeping her breathing calm, her face neutral, she knew that she really couldn't do much about her eyes and well, she would just have hope he didn't notice. Hah! That that was going to happen. She was so busy trying to not react to him she almost missed how good the feeling of his hands on her face felt She wasn't sure how they had gotten there but both of his hands framed his face as he pulled her closer.

He rested his forhead on hers and said "I kick myself when I relized that I have been hiding from you for so long. Hiding the fact that I find you so beautiful that it is distracting. Doesn't have to be you physically, just hearing your voice makes me think about how much I want to touch you. When we hug, I try to imprint you on my body. I wanted to tell you about how unsatisfying our kisses are because they are always over to quickly and what I really want is to take you to the closest private place feel up your legs, up under your skirt. About How I want to give you your fantasy of being tied up, and wanting to see the look of your body, your face, your eyes, to hear your voice and I bring you pleasure. I want to touch you, to learn you, to please you so that you hunger for me at least half as much as I hunger for you. That every woman I've been with since I meet you was a way to help me forget how much I wanted you. And sometimes I had to work to keep my mouth shut to keep me from saying your name at in appropriate times. And no matter how hard I try, I still mess up.

"Don't you get it Gillian. I want everything with you. We have this company, this great working relationship, a wonderful friendship. We know each other better than anyone else. Somewhere along the way of trying not to lust after you, I fell in love with you. "

Gillian saw the sincerity in his eyes, even the hunger he spoke of. Didn't the idiot know how much she loved him, had always loved him. Even when both of them were married. Didn't he know that she accepted his proposition for the business because she wanted to be close to him. She found him fascinating, intriguing, and yes, sexy. She had given up about him ever feeling the same way about her. The other women, the wondering eye. She figured they were better off as friends. But the way he was looking at her, what he was saying, and the way she was feeling as he spoke, she wanted to take a leap. The only thing keeping her is the knowledge that one day he would figure out the truth and she wasn't sure that her heart could take that.

He saw the instant that something inside her closed her off from him. With a sigh he let her pull away. He would keep trying. He suddenly realized how important it was for her to say yes. he would wait.

"Cal, it is getting late. We should be closing up the office. Isn't Em with you tonight?" She said as if they weren't having the most important conversation of his life.

"um, No, she is with her mother for the weekend. You haven't answered my question."

Turning her back to him and picking up her things she stated, "This is neither the time nor place to answer that question. I need some time. I have lots of questions I need answers to before I can give you the answer to yours. Now Go home."

He looked at her again and couldn't read anything. She was his blind spot. But he nodded his head like a good boy and walked away.


	2. Chapter 2

Cal sat at his kitchen table for the last two hours staring at the three fingers of Scotch he had poured for himself when he got home. He had changed into some sleep pants and a t-shirt, but that is all he had been able to accomplish since he walked in the door. He went through the whole conversation with Gillian in his mind, trying to remember every look, every expression, every word, every micro expression. He had been tempted more than once to check the tapes from the office, still considering it truth be told. He knew it was a big leap to go from partners and best friends to asking the woman to marry him, especially with no warning in between. When he was talking with Emily about how he felt about Gillian, he knew this is what he wanted. He wanted all of her and he knew that there wasn't a part of him he wanted to keep from her. He loved her. He loved her intelligence, her kindness, her compassion, her wit, her….he couldn't even think of anything he didn't love about that woman. He wanted chocolate pudding and orange slushies even the mothering/smothering and _yes_ he even wanted her to know _all_ his secrets. That self revelation scared him more than anything else. What if she found out all his secrets and was repulsed by him? He hadn't taken this long to get to this point without a very good reason. She knew more about him than just about anyone, but to be willing to allow her to know anything and _everything._..that was...lets just say that he wasn't sure he could survive her rejection.

Again, she was intelligent, funny, fun, beautiful, sexy, kind, compassionate, loving, and for the past ten years he had taken advantage of all she was willing or allowed to give and shoved it into the once hollow part of his heart he didn't know he had until she started filling it. Over the years she had started taking up more and more space in his heart. In his thoughts. She even invaded his dreams on a regular basis...sleeping and waking.

It wasn't like Cal Lightman to be this insecure about women, but there were women and then there was Gillian. What if she didn't want to know all his secrets? What if she didn't want him when she learned them? What if she was repulsed? What if all she wanted was to be partners and friends? What if he totally screwed that up and she didn't want to be his partner or even his friend any longer…

A knock on the door brought him out of his downward spiral. He got up to answer automatically, drink in hand. He really didn't want to be disturbed while he wallowed in his own misery. He quickly opened the door only to find the object of his desire standing in front of him.

Gillian looked at him. He was annoyed. Well good. So was she.

She saw his countenance instantly turn when he realized it was her. She wasn't so sure this was such a good idea. What on earth was she doing here. This did seemed like such a good idea when she was smoothing on her lotion after her bubble bath. When she was sipping her wine, when the revelations started, when she got dressed and called the Lyft guy, but now her bravado was slipping away. She was about to apologize for intruding, but then she looked down at what he was holding, glass of scotch, and she got annoyed all over again. She grabbed the glass and downed the liquid as she pushed her way into his home.

He inhaled deeply as she passed, turned on as she downed his drink, but it was the special blend of Peaches, honey, and spice that he had given to her for Christmas. The smell itself did things to him when he had taken a whiff of it in the store, but on Gillian, it made him want to bury himself in her. Surround himself with her sent. He wanted to feel the softness of her skin that the accompanying lotion would give as well.

"I almost took you seriously this afternoon." She stated

She was pacing. Gillian didn't pace often. Pretty much angry or worried. He wondered which it was at the moment. Either way, he knew it was his fault, but then he got distracted by the pale pink stilettos peeking out from under her long coat as she went back and forth.

"About getting married?" he asked. Then crossing his arms saying, "Good because I was serious."

"How can you even say that? Do you know what I was doing before I came here?" she went on before he had a chance to answer "I was having a nice relaxing bath with my favorite bubbles. Which, by the way, you gave me."

A little part of him jumped for joy like a lovesick teen whose crush liked something he gave her. He was pathetic.

"I was also drinking this fabulous wine, which had come with the basket with the bubbles. Again, from you, although I know you didn't pick it out. You would never pick a wine that good or that expensive. So I figured you had some help. That you actually took the time to find something I would really enjoy. Then I remembered all the women in the office got a similar Basket. What was going on Cal, did you just want your own little harem? Then of course I vaguely remembering Em stating that she and Zoe got a Basket each as well. So in the space of very little time, I went from massaging in the most divine cream into my skin to being pissed."

She had stopped pacing and was looking at him with her soul filled eyes. He saw hurt and sadness and a sense of betrayal in her face. He could see the tears she didn't want to let fall. That look broke him. There wasn't anything he wouldn't do for this woman...

"Now I was just fine until this afternoon. I was your business partner and best friend, but otherwise nothing all that special to you." she softened a little "I still loved the gifts, but I was one of many." and the hurt was back in her eyes.

She paused to catch her breath then raised her voice as she started pacing again. "Then you go and ask me to marry you…and my thoughts go back to the gift…and how I'm not even special enough to warrant my own gift this past Christmas. Mine was just one of many. How can I even consider marrying someone that can't even bother picking me out of the crowd?"

Cal's head was spinning. How could she think...how could she not...how could...good grief now he was thinking in fractured sentences. Not to mention he really did try to concentrate on what she was saying, but she was pacing back and forth in his living room. When she downed his scotch all blood rushed to his groin and his brain was having a hard time keeping up that she was pissed at him. Because he gave everyone similar baskets to hers. Didn't she notice hers was significantly bigger than the rest? Didn't she notice the extra gifts?

Suddenly he found himself a little pissed that she _didn't_ notice and now that he though about it, a lot pissed that she drank his scotch out of his hands. He could have really used that drink at the moment. When he would waxing poetic about her attributes he forgot maddening. "You have it backwards love." he spat back at her a bit harsher than he wanted, but she stopped pacing.

"Really, how is that?" she got in his face but all he could concentrate on is the way she smelled. When he smelled it the first time in the store the first things that came to mind were Gillian and sex. "You didn't get a basket because everyone else did….everyone got baskets because you did."

Gillian cocked her head to the side quizzically

"I put a lot more thought into yours and I didn't want you to know exactly HOW much more thought I went into your gift over everyone else's. So all the women in my life got baskets. And if you noticed _no one_ else got the same scent or even by the same company. Wasn't even bought in the same store. It is a limited edition and I bought all they had at the store after the first time you wore it. I bought the other baskets at some bath and body store and with the exception of Emily's, I had the store lady pick out everything for the prices I gave her. But yours, yours I thought about. I imagined you in the bath with the bubbles all over you, and knew you needed candles, so I got you candles. In this imagining you were having a glass of wine so I had to get a wine I knew would like even though I don't understand why people like wine. But you got wine. And of course what is a nice relaxing bath for Gillian Foster without a good, trashy romance novel. I looked at them, but I'm totally clueless, hence the reason you got a gift card" He took a breath and studied her face in and went for broke.

He saw her eyes go round that that revelation. "I never realized that having you wearing it at the office was going to be so distracting, Sometimes you aren't even in the room anymore and I can still catch that scent. I thought always having a semi hard on around you was bad, but lately I been walking around with my hands in my pockets imagining Loker naked so as not have a full boner all day."

He looked at her, studied her face. He didn't know if the faint ghost of a smile was good or bad.

Without taking her eyes from his, she untied her jacket and let it fall from her shoulders. He watched as the dark fabric pooled around her f***me baby pink heels. She waited until his eyes made it back up her body and it still took a moment to decipher her words. "So, no one else got one of these?"


	3. Chapter 3

I would like to take a moment to thank those who have taken the time to read and review my story. Reviews really do fuel the juices. Unfortunately for the next little while, it may not get another update until the 1st of the year, this may be the last update. This time of year is really a crunch to start a story. RL is busy with holidays and birthdays and long days at work. Saying this, just the opposite might happen who knows :)

This is a definate M rating. Hope you enjoy this.

 _Without taking her eyes from his, she untied her jacket and let it fall from her shoulders._ _He watched as the dark fabric pooled around her f*me baby pink heels. She waited until his eyes made it back up her body and it still took a moment_ _to decipher her words. "_ _So, no one else got one of these_

Cal was stunned. He looked down to see the beautiful piece of lingerie he had spotted around Christmas. He knew that it would look perfect on her. It was the one that he imagined on her after the bath and the lotion. It was modest in the sexiest of ways. The wide straps were made of the same silk that most of the gown and came down into a sweetheart neck line with lace that was was ornately embroidered and expanded over and lifted her breast. Perfectly cupping each in a way that made his mouth water. The lace then tapered into silk that draped her body to then fade back into the beautiful lace adorning the bottom. He knew that the clasp hidden between her breasts was the only thing keeping it on her body. He had never understood the difference between expensive and cheap lingerie. He figured it didn't matter because it was all going to be a heap on the floor anyway. Now he knew better. The price he paud for the peice was so worth it.

Unlike the original he had seen first, which was a very delicate powder blue that struck him would be beautiful with her eyes, this one was pastel pink. Some would call it a baby pink. He now called it magnificent. The color made her skin glow anf eyes glitter. Everything together made him want to get on his knees and worship. She looked like a goddess. Almost to beautiful to touch, and at the same time beckoned him to feel the skin it so locingly adorn.

Touching won out, barely. He gently rubbed the silk at her neck with the back of his hand. "No, no one else got one of these." He stated with reverence started down the front of her shoulder to just above her breast.

A sigh of relief welled inside her but was overrun by the feel of him touching her in such a reverent way. If he went to much farther he would be able to feel the hard pebble of her nipple. Gillian was still not sure where any of this was going. Seriously, what did he think he was doing asking her to marry him.

"Marry me Gillian." He asked, touching the top one of her breasts with his fingertips. When had that happened?

"Why?"she moaned as the back of his hand traveled down the side of one breast then up across her nipple.

He gave a mischievous smile and cupped her breast fully in his hand. "Because I have your breast in my hand and I'm not inclined to let go."

Having him touch her was amazing. Her body wanted more. Craved more, needed more. "Never said you had to marry me to touch me." She said as she stepped into his warm hand. Then taking his other hand and placing on her other breast. She knew he thought she was delicate and fragile, needed to be taken care of gently. Sometimes that was true, but not always, and not as often as he thought. Definately not tonight. "Marriage isn't required to kiss me or have sex with me either."

Cal looked into her eyes and saw nothing but honesty and desire. She wanted him. Wanted to be with him. He could have her.

He was serious about wanting it all. He was serious about wanting to marry her. He want her in every way possible. He wanted to introduce her as his wife, but more than that, he suddenly realized, he wanted her to introduce him as her husband. As hers. He wrapped his arms around her and whispered in her ear,"Why? Why won't you marry me?"

She have a low chuckle. "Cal," she said as she held him close, fingers stroking through his hair. "We have never been on a date, never had a romantic kiss," she whispered to him, "and we haven't ever had sex. Yes, we are friends, best friends, and business partners but marriage, we could loose everything. Neither one of us has a very good track record when it comes to marriage and romance. It is like putting all the carts out without any horses."

He breathed her in. He knew when he made his decision to ask her it was going to be a difficult sell. He thought she would laugh at him, mock him, or maybe even call his bluff. He never in a million years thought he would hurt her by this. He buried his face in her neck, inhaled her. He kissed the spot where her shoulder met her neck. She shuddered. One of his hands reached up into her hair and tilted her head to expose the spot to his hungry lips.

One try. The man had gotten her sweet spot in one try. That spot that made her heart melt and turned her knees into jelly. That spot right where her shoulder meets her neck. She had to get back control of the situation. She pulled his face up and kissed him. She could feel him. All of him. She pushed him back just enough to get her hands between them.

Her moan ripped though him as he attacked her lips even more. He felt her hands under his shirt. The feel of her hands on his bare skin was heaven. He refused to relinquish his hold on her, grinding himself into her. It wasn't until he felt the cool air on his arse and the warm silk on his cock that he was a bit startled. He didn't even feel her let his sleep pant drop to the floor. She smirked at him and he knew he was in trouble.

For the first time in a very long time, Gillian knew exactly what she was doing and the easy part was she was doing exactly what she wanted with this delicious man. She pushed his bare arse on the couch and climbed on top, straddling his hips. Clawed at his shirt until he pulled it over his head. Then she took his hand to her core. She wanted him to to feel what he did to her, how much she wanted him.

His fingers were drenched with her. She was hot and tight and so very wet. He pushed two then three fingers into her. Her moan ripped through him, clawed into him, tore into his soul.

The feel of him between her legs was more of a turn on than when she was thinking about all this earlier. The fabric of her gown billowed around them. The odd dicodimy of seeing the silk covering them and feeling her naked underneith in his hands was making her head spin. She reached beteen them and took his throbbing cock in her hand as she deepened her possession of his mouth.

He usually had more control, but between the kiss she was laying on him, the feel of her riding his fingers, and her hand stroking his cock….he couldn't think, all he could do is feel, and he wanted to feel all of her.

As if reading his mind, Gillian broke the kiss, raised up on her knees and guided him in. The "Fuck Gillian" that emerged from his lips sent all sorts of fire shooting though her. His hands pulled at her hips and she knew that she would have bruises there later. That was ok...right now. He was thick and hard between her legs, sliding in and out, grinding in all the right places. And she was riding him like she was solely created to do so. She had no idea how much of a turn on all this would be….ok maybe a slight idea.

"Gill, what are you doing?" she felt him gasp against her breasts.

She ran her fingers through his hair and pulled his back hard against the back of the couch. "Trying To prove a point Cal." she said as she ran her teeth up one of the muscles in his neck to behind his ear.

There wasn't much more to say after that. She had one hand helping her balance on the back of the couch, and the other around his neck, stroking his pulse point with her thumb, as she continued to take pleasure from his lose of control.

His fingers pushed deep into her arse as he tried not to cum, but he wasnt sure how long he was going to be able to hold on. This version of Gillian was a very adult wet dredream come true. Having her pushing herself up and down on his cock was more than anything he could imagine. The hand around his throat started to increase in pressure but nothing he couldn't handle. Nothing he couldn't stop if necessary. But between the look of bliss on her face and her body riding him hard and fast, he didn't care if the world came tumbling down around him he wasn't going to stop her. For the first time in his life he let go. He wanted this woman in the worst possible way, and she was his, in this moment, and he could work with that.

Cal suddenly felt a change inside her, the look on her face, the need to finish, a vulnerability he wasn't sure she wanted him to see, but he did. "Its ok Gill, let go, I have you. I'll catch you" and with his prompting she did. She didn't scream his name like he always thought she would, but bit his shoulder, which was something he had never expected from her and let out another "Fuck" as he spilled into her. Her breath catching as each pull of him sent spasms through her body, and her nails dug into his throat with the force of her release. A release that racked through every part of him. It seemed to go on forever but not nearly long enough.

"Did you prove your point?" he asked slowly disingaging her hand from his neck. He accepted that thw hand on his throat was hot.

He felt her smile before she lifted her forehead to meet his. "Don't know yet." she squeezed him with her vaginal muscles "we aren't done yet now are we." it was a statement, not a question.

"If you were trying to prove you are a sex goddess, you have more than succeeded beyond any and all expectations."

"Well, in that case," as she lifted herself off his still hard member. Their combined groans filled the air. Her hair all mussed, skin flushed, and a grin of a woman satisfied but wanting more. He was mesmerized by her she she unclipped the pink silk and slid it off her body and stood in front of him, still wearing her baby pink "fuck me" heels. That color was never going to be the same for him...ever. Pale pink for him from this moment on was going to be synonymous with sex, Gillian Sex. Spell bound by all the Gillian skin on display before him, his brain seemed to have misfired.

Then he heard her say "Prove it." as she turned and sauntered towards his bedroom.

Prove it? Prove what? He was supposed to prove something. She was walking away...where was she going...she was naked...wait...bedroom...prove it...sex goddess...yeah, he could do that.

He could worship her.


	4. Chapter 4

Gilian collapsed on her bed and gingerly crawled under the covers. When she had left her house early the evening before she had no idea what was going to happen.(lie) What she was going to allow to happen, what she was going to make happen.

She had thought she had experienced great sex in her lifetime, few and far between, but she was certain that she had. Well that was until last night. He was different than she expected, but than again so was she. She had always been loving and giving, rarely taking control, happy to allow her partner to find pleasure in her.

Gillian covered her mouth as she remembered how angry she was. How dare he go from virtually nothing, to asking her to marry him. Seriously, how could he do that to her. By the end of her second glass of wine she had worked herself into full blown,"I'm going to kill him mode" and that was when she called the Lyft. She was alert enough to know not to drive, but just out of control enough to allow her anger to simmer. Normally she wouldn't, she would talk her self down until she had control of it, but last night she just couldn't tap it down. The more she tried to control it the more furious she became. That was how she ended up at his house with one hand around his neck fucking him senseless.

She had never had angry sex before, never understood how anyone could, but she was angry, and for once in her life she was taking exactly what she wanted with no real concern for whom she was taking it from. There was one moment of clarity after she lowered herself on him, no man had ever felt so good, that their eyes met and she knew that he was more than ok with what she was doing. After that it was all about what she wanted. She wanted to cum, to feel Cal Lightman cum inside her. To feel his passion that he seemed to have given to any and every other woman that walked through the door. In this way she was jealous of those women. She knew she had more of a relationship with Cal than any other woman alive, even Zoe, his ex wife. (Emily might, but she is his daughter, its different) But this, this part of him she had always denied herself, tried to deny how much she wanted it, denied how much she needed it, and did so for so long she had almost convinced both of them that what they had was enough. Their relationship was safe, right on the edge of, but still safe. Now, she had blown safety out of the water.

When they had finished she remembered a moment of terror when she realized what she had done. She had told him she was trying to make a point, and she was. She risked losing him and everything they had and built together. And she knew once he figured things out, she would be the one left devastated. Then she felt his arms around her, stroking her back as she came down off an impossible high he had brought her to, she made the decision that she is going to concentrate on the many possibilities she could have with this man for as long as she had him.

He called her a Sex Goddess. It wasn't the point she was trying to make, but she liked it. His words and the fact that she was fairly comfortable in her own skin made walking to his bedroom in nothing but a pair of pale pink fuck me shoes very easy. She threw him a "come worship me" look with her eyes as "Prove it" dripped from her lips and walked away with the sure knowledge he would follow. Oh boy did he follow.

Gillian turned to lay on her back as her body remembered just how ardent a worshiper he was.

She stopped just inside his bedroom. She had been here many times before, even slept in that bed in front of her a time or two. The difference was she had never entered this room with the sure knowledge that she would be spending very little time sleeping. Fantasies plagued her as they ripped through her mind. The things she had imagined, desired, wished for…

The feel of his knuckles running down her back brought her out of her thoughts with a shiver.

"Getting cold feet, Luv?" he asked low against her shoulder.

She turned her head towards him and smiled. "And if they were would you warm them up?"

"Abso-bloody-lutly. Anytime, anywhere, any part of this precious body that needed warming. I'm your man."

She wanted to ask him if he really was...her man. His voice should have given her solace. Right here, right now he was being completely honest. He was hers. But…

Gillian curled into herself. After she had snuck away from Cal's bed she collected her things, called a Lyft and made it home before the tears started.

What had she done? What had she started? She could go though all the mambojumbo all she wanted but this was all on her. She had gone to his house with the sole reason to have sex with Cal Lightman. No matter how one looks at it , in the end that was what it was. She had known it was going to be good, that was a given. She had been on the receiving end of to many women's' glowing reviews of his prowess. So, yes she agreed whole hearted, sex with Cal Lightman was A-MaZ-ing.

It is what happened after that had the tears flowing and her body shaking with sobs. How could she have been so stupid? "Prove it." she had actually said that. He started it with calling her a 'sex goddess' but did she really have to provoke him with a "prove it".

Her brovado had only gotten her so far and now is when it chose to start faltering, then she felt the back of his knuckles down her back. She felt him smile against her shoulder when she shivered at his touch. "I've got you Gill. Let me take care of you."

She turned her head to look at him and saw the love and awe in his face. The sincerity that he really wanted to take care of her.

She leaned back and invited his lips to meld with hers. He tasted so good. She turned in his arms and felt his hands running up and down her back. She heard a moan and realized it was coming from her. She stopped suddenly.

His grip tighten on her as he whispered. "No Gill. Stay with me. I want all you have to give, and I'm right here with you. Your not alone." then he tenderly kissed her, some how after what she had just put them though, he knew what she needed. Reassurance. And he was willing to give it.

By the time she understood what was going on he was laying her out on his bed. He used his hands to trace her lines and curves exploring her body. He caressed her breasts, the intent look on his face let a look of a passionate scientist studying a very rare specimen. He played with her stomach, making nonsense patterns. He seemed very content to simply touch her, map out her skin, figuring out what she liked (a lot of it) and didn't like (not much). Then he started a similar process with his mouth. Kissing, using his tongue in places, his warm breath. Her body was humming by the time he finally touched between her legs.

She was a bit self conscious about the fact that she didn't shave down there, not because she would have rather been hairless (Alec had wanted that and she hated it. It was like saying he that the WOMAN he married wasn't good enough and he needed someone younger...someone else.)

Cal must have sensed something was off with her because he said "You have no idea luv how hot it is to be with a woman with a full bush. So many think they need to remove these beautiful tufts of hair. I'm glad you didn't feel the need."

"Some men complain that it gets in their teeth when they….but I guess if you don't...it really wouldn't matter if..." suddenly she arched her back off the bed, he was touching her their. Running his fingers though the curls and stroking the folds, rubbing her clit between two of his fingers.

"Feel Good?" he whispered in the mists of his ministrations. "You know, if they complain about getting a few curlies between their teeth, they are doing it wrong."

"mmmmmm..." She was so close to another orgasm. How he had gotten her here in such a short time baffled her….but it was coming and coming hard. He held his hand between her thighs as her body convulsed beside him.

"That has to be the most beautiful sight."

She turned her head towards him and gave him a smile.

"Are you ready for another?" he said with a grin.

"I doubt that is possible." she said lethargically.

"I read somewhere that after the first one, women can easily have multiple and more intense orgasms. Sounds like something a sex goddess should know and experience." he stated has he started down her body. He buried his nose into the hair at the apex of her legs. Then he spread her. Making sure his hands touched her from toes to hip, then he spread the lips of her vagina and she held her breath.

Most men seem to think that if they just go down on you, it should turn you on, but it doesn't always work that way. She and Alec had many aborted attempts. He had always like her going down on him, but her pleasure was less important it seemed. He seemed to have gotten bored after ten years of marriage….

But now Cal with kneeling at the edge of the bed, he head between her legs. "Cal, you don't have to..."

"What kind of a worshiper would I be if I didn't get down on me knees for my goddess?" then concentrating on the sight before him,"There you are you gorgeous creature." and then she felt his tongue on the little cluster of nerves had her seeing stars behind her eyes. It wasn't long until she felt his had pressing on her stomach as one finger pumped in and out of her and his mouth sucking on her most sensitive of spots.

After every orgasm she would look at him and see nothing but love and affection and sincerity….she may have seen joy there too, but she wasn't sure. He concentrated on her pleasure though three more orgasms before buried himself inside her and brought her to her 7th one of the night as he filled her and spilled himself inside her. She was very happy he read that article.

She had been so sore when she had gotten home, she took a hot shower and some light yoga before making sure everything was done around the house. Now it was just her and the memory of running from the most amazing night of her life. Of the most amazing man.

She knew this would never work. That one day, he would wake up and realize that she just wasn't….wasn't….God this was hard. Knowing this was going to end. But not before she gave everything she had to it. Push the knowledge to the back of her mind and enjoy being with the man she loved more than life.

Gillian sat up in bed and listed to the surprise storm that seem to be matching her mood. About 20 minutes into the storm she heard a banging on her door. Knowing it could only be one person, she rushed to open the door.

There he was. Looking sexy as hell, his arms leaning against either side of the door jam. His hair soaked, trench coat and the sleep pants she had striped off him earlier. Soaked from hair to bare feet. His coat was open and she watched rain drops run down his tattooed chest.

She knew he saw her bite her lip and the change in her breathing. She refused to hide from him. Hiding her feelings, (except one), her wants, or her desires for him were a thing of the past. And if she only had him for a limited time, she was going to enjoy every second of it. When her eyes finally reached his, she saw the storm in the back ground playing in his eyes. It frightened her...just a little...and somehow, in a way, sent shots of desire straight to her core.

Something changed in his face and he growled.

"I wasn't done with you."


	5. Chapter 5

_I am really sorry this has taken me so long. The story is for the most part written in my head, just finding time to get it written has been less than successful. Thank you to those who have enjoyed this so far and for the reviews. I know the show has been off for a while, but I love these characters still._

 _Ok, this chapter will sort of introduce the weirdness that is going on in my brain for this story. Hopefully some of you will catch it. If not, it will become clear in later chapters._

 _Also, this is totally AU, if you hadn't already guessed. And the time lines are mostly mine so it would fit with where I'm trying to go with this. So as always, I own nothing but the story and the mistakes._

 _This chapter is somewhat on the sweet side. I hope you still like it. Let me know._

 _Mich_

Cal reached for her.

His hand came in contact with a cold empty space.

She wasn't there. Again.

He listened, in case she was in the Master Bath.

Silence.

He sat up, raked his hand over his face and through his hair. The only light in the room was a little bit peeking through her curtains. "Bloody Hell, not again. Why can't that woman stay put?"

Gillian sauntered in just as he threw back the covers and started out of bed. She smiled. "What has you in such a hurry?" She heard an audible sigh of relief and wondered at it.

He looked up. And with a look that was a cross between exasperation and teasing, "I was wondering if I was going to have to chase after you again."

"Is that what you were doing last night? Chasing after me?" she said with a seductive smirk. She walked over to him and stood in front of him. Started running her fingers lightly over his forehead and his hair, making a halfhearted attempt to bring some order of semblance to the messiness she helped create the night before.

Cal hummed approval at her touch and pulled her a little closer. She was once again wearing a man's dress shirt and fuzzy socks. Not the same dress shirt. In a fit of jealousy the night before he ripped the other off her. He didn't like the thought of her wearing another man's clothes. She was sexy as hell in it, and even though she has refused to admit it, she was his, and he is a possessive man.

"I thought I shredded this thing last night." He stated as he was playing with the front tails, seriously considering ripping this one off her too.

She ran her finger through his hair, kneading his scalp lightly as he did so. Oh how she loved being able to touch him. She loved the sounds he made when she did so. She was quickly becoming addicted. She leaned over, knowing full well that she was giving him a bit of a show down the shirt. "You honestly think that was the only shirt of yours that I have in my possession?" she whispered in his ear.

He was enjoying the show she was offering. All that Gillian skin right there where he could taste, touch, immerse himself in. Then it hit him. Cal lifted his head in surprise. "Mine?"

"Who else's would I be wearing?" She gave him a mock indignant look that was totally ruined by her cheeky smirk.

Her grin was sincere and mischievous.

"I don't know, Alec's?" the woman snarled at him like a feral cat. Now that surprised him, he also thought it was extremely hot. Brought all sorts of interesting ideas that he was going to have to explore later, right now he wasn't through teasing her, he held her in place by holding her by the waist because his next words tasted vile in his mouth, "or Captain Americas'?" That one got him flashes of hurt then an angry glare.

He really shouldn't have been so happy for that glare, but he really really was.

"So, mine then." She nodded. "How many?"

"How many what?"

"How many of my shirts do you have?"

She bit her lip and grinned. "Over the last ten years I have amassed quite a few articles of clothing from the many times you have stayed in my various guest rooms. Used to drive Alec nuts when he would find some of your clothes mixed in with ours."

He pulled her to him and she wound her arms around his head. His hands ran behind her knees and the backs of her thighs. She jumped slightly in his arms and let out an involuntary hiss.

"What?" he pulled back.

"It's nothing Cal." She stated trying to get him back to the almost kiss that they were in the process of having.

He quickly turned on the bed side light and turned her around. Lifting up the shirt he saw the cause of her discomfort. The fair skin of her upper thighs, buttocks, and hips were angry and red with more than a few distinguishable hand prints. He gently caressed the red area, she only jumped slightly. "Damnit Gill, I gave you a safe word for a reason. Why didn't you use it?"

She turned back to him and took his face in her hands. She made sure he was looking at her face so he could read her. "Because, silly man, if I had used it, you would have stopped. And I didn't want you to stop."

"But…"

"Cal, look at me." When she was sure she had his attention she continued. "Read me. I didn't want you to stop…" Then she kissed him sweetly on his lips.

"You are an amazing woman." He stated with a meek smile. "I know I was a little out of control last night. You probably should have stopped me."

She stood back up with her hands on her hips. "Now why on earth would I want to do that? It seems that Cal Lightman out of control is a major turn on."

"Oh Really?"

"Really" she said with a smile as she leaned down to kiss him again.

The moment turned humorous when Cals stomach started to rumble. They both looked at each other and chuckled.

"Got any food in this house woman?"

She chuckled and raised her eyebrow at the "woman" comment. He just gave her a boyish grin.

"Actually, no."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously. I'm leaving for about six weeks, remember? I cleaned out the frig and freezer and most of the shelves are empty until I get back." he blinked at her a few times.

He looked at her slightly confused. "I'm going to attend a few conferences, visit my Allison and Matt in Washington State for Christmas and New Year's, I'm going to work on the viability of opening Lightman Group on the West Coast. You know, all those things you didn't want to do."

He did remember. Just didn't realize she would be gone so long or that they would be in the middle of their current situation when she was going to be leaving. He wanted to anchor her to him, make sure she knew he was there for the long haul. Assuage those fears he knew he had that he was a loose cannon, a man with "sexual ADD" as she had put it once. Well, she had him on that one, but he only had this special brand of "sexual ADD" for her.

"Ok, my place it is."

She raised an eyebrow as he stood up, naked in her bedroom.

"Your place?"

"Yes, I have food. Or at least really good menus for delivery or we can just pick up on our way there. And from the looks of things" he said pointing to her suite cases and hanging bag. "You are already packed. So we should just take everything with us, and I'll drive you to the airport…." He stalled looking at her for her flight information.

"Tomorrow at 7pm"

"Tomorrow?" he scowled "Ok. Tomorrow. Now, you wouldn't by any chance know where I left my pants?"

"They are in the dryer. Your coat is dry, but they pants needed a little more help. Come here." She grinned and crooked her finger for him to follow her to the back of her walk in closet. She pulled out a pair of sweat pants, sweat shirt, socks, a pair of running shoes, and even a pair of underwear. She handed it all to him then turned and pulled out another pair of sweat and pulled them on.

"You really do have a lot of my clothes."

She shrugged. "You tend to leave things behind." She grinned as she looked at him. Then her expression showed sadness for just a split second. She was his blind spot, so he wasn't even sure if he saw it, because it was gone so quickly. He was going to have to think more on this later. Right now, his stomach was making more noises.

Gillian watched as he walked back into her bedroom. Something inside stirred as she realized that he was already comfortable walking around naked in her bedroom. She also admitted to herself that she really enjoyed watching him walk around her bedroom naked. Who was she kidding, she was sure she was just enjoying watching him walk around naked.

When Cal looked back at her she was standing with her shoulder against the jam of her closet door with a very sexy satisfied smile. He saw something else in her eyes. Again, blind spot, so he was still unsure of his reading of her, but he thinks that somehow he did something she liked. She looked content. Damn it, he really wished he knew what he had done so he could do it again, and again, until he was sure that she was his.

They continued talking about the trip as they dressed. He asked if she was going to see her other sisters. She said that Lindsey and her husband's law practice in Boston was going to have a few cases that were going to go up right until Christmas, and with Lindsey being pregnant, she wasn't for much traveling anyway. Cal didn't think much of Lindsey's husband, Bobby, called him a "Bloody broken arse". Gillian couldn't have agreed more. But so far Lindsey was happy, and after everything that had happened the year before, Gillian was just happy that her sister was still alive.

As for Natalie, who knows where she would be over the holidays. She always had an open invitation with Allison and her bunch, but being part of the NIH out of Baltimore, any type of disease outbreak, she was on the front lines to find cures or at least mitigate causalities.

Allison was a detective with the local police force and her husband was a contractor in Washington State. Their brood consisted of two boys and two girls, and Gillian couldn't be happier with the prospect of visiting her sister and brother in law.

She was wearing his clothes. Most women tended to be sexy in men's clothing, but seeing Gillian in his, well, he just plain liked it. He really liked it. She had pulled out a pair of soft sweat pants that he remembered he was given for Christmas a few years ago by…someone…he couldn't remember. They were really soft and he had loved the way they had felt when he would go commando. He had lost them a short time after, now he knew what happened to them. He imagined that a big part of why she was willing to wear sweat pants out of the house was because the pants were soft on her bum. He still cringed when he thought about the damage he had seen caused by his own hand.

When they got to his house, she headed to the kitchen as he headed to his bedroom with her luggage. He didn't want any confusion where she was sleeping. Hanging her bag on the door of his closet with her rolling bag underneath made him smile. But putting her toiletries bag in his bathroom hit him square in the chest. He looked at himself in the mirror and almost didn't recognize what he saw. He was a bit ragged, but he thought he saw something in his eyes, in the micro expressions, that caused him to realize that he just might be happy in this very minute. Things were far from hashed out. But she was here, in his home, and she would be sleeping in his bed.

When he went downstairs, he saw that she had the food set out and was flipping through his VUDU account. It was around 11am, so they decided on Chinese, because, well, she was in the mood for Cashew Chicken and steamed dumplings. He got the Spicy Garlic Chicken with his dumplings.

"So what are we watching? Some Chick Flick?" He smiled as he snagged a plate and started helping himself to the food.

"Not this time." She kept flipping through his movies. "Where is it? I know you have it."

"Have what and how do you know?"

"Because I put it on here myself." She said without looking at him.

He stopped in the middle of what he was doing to look at her. "Why are you putting things on my VUDU account?"

"Because Emily wanted to watch it." She finally found what she was looking for, "There it is."

His confusion turned to surprise at what he saw pulled up. "The Incredible Hulk?"

She sat beside him on the couch with her plate and a pair of chopsticks. "Yep, the bad guy is kind of sexy." She grinned.

They paused the movie midway through because she wanted popcorn. He knew from experience that mixing extra butter with kettle corn was her favorite combination. The one speck of sappiness in his brain thought it was the perfect metaphor for the two of them. Salty and Sweet. He smiled, he had been doing a lot of that in the last few hours.

"So you find this Tim Roth guy sexy, huh?"

"Jealous?"

"Nope. I've got popcorn."

"Yes you do." She took a handful. "mmm…Just the way I like it."

"It's a gift." He smirked at her.

She smirked back, then led him over to the overstuffed chair. Taking the bowl of popcorn from his hands, she sat him down. Then turned, sat in his lap, then with bowl of popcorn and remote in hand placed her legs over one arm and her back supported by the other. "Comfortable?" he asked.

She wiggled her hips, just to make him groan, "Yep" she said with a smile as she popped a few kernels into her mouth and started the movie again.

By the end of the movie, the bowl of popcorn was on the floor half eaten and Gillian was snuggled all cozy in his lap with her head on his shoulder and his arms around her. He could get used to this.

The thoughts of having weekends and evenings snuggled up with Gillian invaded and over took his imaginings. He was no longer watching the movie, just musing about domestic tranquility.

In a low voice she asked him how he liked the movie. He had actually enjoyed it. The company of course had a lot to do with it.

"Not bad. But I don't see what you see in the Tim Roth guy."

She buried her face in his neck. He felt her smile. "It is good to hear you don't find the guy sexy I guess."

He smiled like a fool. "What do you want to watch now?"

She snuggled deeper into his arms. "don't care." She said sleepily.

He put something on. He really didn't remember what it was. Cal Lightman fell asleep in his favorite chair with his Gillian in his arms. He took great joy in the knowledge that he would wake up with her right where he put her.


	6. Chapter 6

SOrry, when I went over it again, there were way to many mistakes for my liking, so I had to fix some of them. added a little too to make things flow better. Really sorry for the premature update. You don't have to read this one if you read it again...but if you want to see any of the differences...go for it.

Reviewing is nice

Ok, Here is another update. I hope it is ok. Hope you all enjoy it. I was going to go a totally different direction with this chapter, but this came out instead. Again, time lines mean nothing.

As usual , all mistakes are mine and I own nothing.

Cal had been wrong. Gillian wasn't in his lap when he woke up. He had been covered with the blanket from the couch. He had been looking foreword to having her be the first thing he felt and saw when he opened his eyes. Now she was gone again, Cal Lightman was working up to being really pissed until then he heard her sing to the music playing in the kitchen. He never knew she could sing. Really sing.

He also smelled cake, chocolate if he wasn't mistaken. Like it really would have been anything else. He meandered though his living room following the music to where Gillian was. As usual, she was multitasking. Her back was turned to him as she sang and danced in perfect rhythm to the music (moving her body to the music, which was all together distracting. He was going to have to try some fun music next time they made love.) and of course, she was frosting the cake. Using the spatula as a microphone every once in a while. He was enchanted.

Cal was enjoying the show, until she stopped everything but the thought maybe she had sensed his presence. What ever was happening he could tell, even from the back, the words were squeezing at her heart. Changing his focus to the words of the song he began to understand. Cal had listened to the song many times. The bridge of this particular song was them to a T.

 _'Cause if we lost our minds and we took it way too far  
I know we'd be alright  
I know we would be alright_

Being around Gillian for as many years as he had, he learned a thing or two about voices, and didn't miss the catch in her, he heard the tears welling up within her. He didn't like thinking about her crying , he hoped they weren't because of him, but somehow, he knew better.

 _If you were by my side and we stumbled in the dark  
I know we'd be alright  
I know we would be alright_

Before he could stop himself, she came up behind her and with hands on her hips, he whispered in her ear, as the bridge repeated.

 _'Cause if we lost our minds and we took it way too far  
I know we'd be alright  
I know we would be alright_

 _If you were by my side and we stumbled in the dark  
I know we'd be alright  
We would be alright_

He felt the tension drain from her body as he sang the words in her ear. Then the most impossible thing happened, she turned on him.

Her eyes lit up, tears, fear, and doubt, all gone, just impish delight as she sang to him and walked his body across the kitchen until it was against the counter.

 _Oh, I've been shaking  
I love it when you go crazy  
You take all my inhibitions  
Baby, there's nothing holdin' me back_

 _You take me places that tear up my reputation  
Manipulate my decisions  
Baby, there's nothing holdin' me back (Ouoh)_

The rest of the song faded as he kissed her. Pouring himself into the kiss, pouring himself into her. She tasted like chocolate frosting, suddenly, chocolate frosting and Gillian were his favorite taste in the world. He pulled her in closer, delved in deeper. Her depths seem to be endless, unfathomable. She pull at his clothes, he pushed at hers. He had come to really hate her clothes, because they kept her skin from his. He had become addicted to her. The addiction had started long ago, but this was his addiction on speed. Being able to touch her, feel her body, her need, and being able to satisfy that need. That was the true addiction, satisfying her every want and need had become paramount in his existence.

When they were both naked, he picked her up put her on the counter, and she automatically wrapped her legs around him, he swiped his middle finger in the chocolate frosting and went to put it in his mouth. She caught his hand before it reached his lips and licked the frosted finger. The heat of her tongue was nothing com paired the heat of her mouth. She licked, and sucked, nibbled, all around blew his mind, and she was just sucking on one finger. Her eyes were closed and he was in awe of the pleasure she was taking sucking the frosting off his finger. He wondered what it would be like to have her mouth around his cock. Aye Aye, he liked that idea.

"Mmmm, Two of the best tastes in the universe, Chocolate and Cal Lightman."

"Well, luv, you really haven't tasted me yet." He hadn't meant to say that. Her stunned silence told him he really did say it out loud. He tried to be playful about it. Playful to waylay his desperate desire to have her mouth on the most intimate part of him…knowing he would never ask or expect her to give him a blow job, but really wanting one from her anyway. What could he say, he's a guy.

He knew that Alec had demanded it of her. He knew because he had almost walked into a private conversation between the two of them arguing (yes he eavesdropped, had to make sure she was ok, and anyone who knew him wouldn't think otherwise.) that if she would just do the simple things more often, like blow jobs,(yes he specified blow jobs) maybe their sex life wouldn't be so dull. The wanker actually tried guilt her into giving him a blow job. He also knew that she felt obligated to do so even though she had expressed to her husband she really didn't like it, never did. He wanted to hurt the man for that...well, he wanted to hurt him for many reasons.

No he would never ask for her to do that. He felt he had already pushed things with a little bit of S&M last night, and despite what she said about liking him losing control, the welts on her beautiful arse still made the want to get on his knees and apologize.

He had requested, even demanded other women to suck his cock before, but some deep seeded part of him knew that for Gillian, his Gillian, to ever do this for him would be a gift, something that could never be demanded, or ever expected. So when she tilted her head and bit her lip, then pullled him out of the kitchen, he didn't know what to think.

Gillian removed his pants pushed Cal onto the bed. She was a little surprised at herself, after all, she had never wanted to do before. Never wanted to have a man's penis in her mouth. Never thought it was wrong or bad, she just never found it appealing. Doesn't mean she hadn't done it. She had been married after all, and her husband liked it and expected it of her, and well, she wanted to keep the peace, and she knew it was a power play to him because he felt insecure with her. The whole hind sight 20/20 only added to her discust of her ex husband and had nothing to do with the here and now.

Heat pooled straight to her loins when he had said she hadn't really tasted him yet, and suddenly, she had an overwhelming desire to do exactly thatshe wanted to. Here and now she wanted to do this, with this man, right now,

She bent over him and slowly ran her hands up his legs. She crawled up his body as his legs opened wider accommodate her.

Cal's mind went all fuzzy and only knew that Gillian was there and her hands were on him. He felt her warm breath, her mouth, lips, even a little teeth, and one very wet tongue on the insides of his thighs….mmmm….that felt good. Yeah, that felt really good. She went from one side to the other and made it feel even better. Then her nose nudged his balls, "Gill," he choked, "Whatcha doing?"

She licked his balls and he groaned. "I'm planning on giving you a blow job, is that ok?"

"I was kinda hoping that was what you were doing, you know you don't have tooo….oh bloody fucking hell" he exclaimed as she sucked one ball into her mouth. He did the only thing he could, he flung arm over his eyes and focused on how good this felt.

Over the past few hours Gillian had learned that Cal was a bit of a talker…well not always talking, wasn't always words, but groans, moans, the well placed cuss word. Lots of cuss words. He even slipped up once with a "mine", she wasn't sure if he knew he said it or not, but Gillian heart wanted to burst. She felt safe with him. She knew that she hasn't ever been in more danger her heart was on the line and for the first time she realized that Cal had it within his power to break her...but She would psychoanalyze herself later on the why, but right now she just wanted to enjoy sucking on his cock and balls.

With his eyes covered, Gillian took her time. Explored with her mouth and tongue as well as her hands. She went he hissed and moaned and said "fuck" more than a few times, before she even took his full shaft in her mouth. She played with the shaft, running her tongue and lips up and down all over. One hand playing with his balls, while the other sunk her short nails into his flexing hips. She found she loved the sounds he made when she ran her tongue on the underside of the head of his penis. She had been a little surprised when they started this that he was circumcised, it isn't done in the European countries as much as it is in the States. But he was, and she was taking full advantage of the exposed head.

She too one finger from the hand playing with his balls and quickly sucked it into her mouth, then started caressing the outside sphincter muscle before he could make much of a protest, as the other hand held his cock still so her mouth could continue playing. She took a few tentative pushes into his ass. "FUCK, oh god Gil" was all she heard. Made her bold and she pushed her finger farther inside, as she took him into her mouth. Her finger and mouth both keeping time with each other as she went deeper, then two fingers, pushing further until she found what she was looking for. When she began to caress that donut shaped spot, both of Cals arms slammed on the bed and tried to rip the covers off. She really liked that she could do this to him. This was all new to her. Being wanted like this. Having the power over a man like Cal was , Dave wanted her, they were good together, but he had to many secrets and if she was honest with herself, she knew it wouldn't work in the end. No matter how she felt about him, his work was first with him, as was hers. He an Cal would have never gotten along in the long term, and if she had to choose, she would always choose Cal.

"Fuck" seemed to be the only word Cal was able to say. He repeated it over and over with a few other words thrown in. His brain and body were solely concentrating on the fact that his pure beautiful Gillian had his cock in her mouth, a place his cock had wanted to be since the first time he and Gillian had met. Never, in the millions of fantasies, yes, millions, did he ever imagine that it would feel this good, or that Gillian would be willing to put her fingers up his nether hole. The intensity of the pleasure was causing his world to spin and become very small, about the size of this bed. Maybe even smaller. Cal knew he wouldn't last long, but it felt so amazing that he was at war with himself if he wanted to come in her mouth, in her pussy, or on her beautiful breasts. Something changed and the choice was taken from him. He came, hard, with her sucking every last ounce from him. How could Gillian, his Good, prim, proper, pudding eating, slushing drinking, Gillian make the top of his head blow off with the best blow job of his life?

He didn't know how much time had passed before she bounced next to him with wet washcloth washing her fingers. "that was fun." She giggled as she used the antibacterial gel over her hands next.

"Fun huh?" Giving her a sideway glance.

"I've never really liked having a cock in my mouth.." He saw shame on her face.

"Maybe you just had the wrong cock?" he snickered making sure he could read his face of how much he was in awe of her doing this. He was rewarded with a smile.

"Maybe I did"

"Come here." With the great effort he rolled over and opened his arms. He opened his eyes to look at her. He saw the glow of pleasure in her eyes that showed that she really did have fun and she wasn't lying for his ego. She took off her clothes, then she curled into him and brought a throw blanket over them. He smiled at having naked Gillian in his arms, in his bed. He placed his chin on top of her head and in haled her scent once again. He wanted to tell her that it was more than fun, it was specular, it was mind blowing, it was humbling.

She was right, it was fun.

He had started to drift off when she softly called his name. "What luv?" he answered.

"We still have cake."

Cal Laughed.

Song...Nothing's Holding me Back by Shawn Mendes


	7. Chapter 7

I know, I know, wonders never cease. TWO updates in two days. I have just been trying really hard to get these two out of bed, and THEY haven't been cooperating. It has been a difficult process. I'm sure you guys would love to see where I'm going with this, especially since I already have the ending written and then 2 squeals in my head that I really want to write, but now I'm rambling.

All mistakes are mine and I own nothing...because if I did...the show would still be on.

Cal finally got his wish. After Cake, movies, take out, ice cream (did anyone honestly think he didn't keep some just for her in his freezer? Really?),talking, teasing, making out, making love, he had finally woken up with a snuggly, love worn, beautiful Gillian in his arms. Somewhere in between all of it, she had let him know that it didn't go without notice that he hadn't called her Foster this whole time.

"I'm just used to you calling me Foster. " she had stated as she rolled on top of him and sat up straddling him. The look on her face told him she wasn't offering sex, the vantage point allowed her to see his face clearly and keep him in one spot to answer her question. She wanted to see his face as well as hear his voice. Double reassurance.

Cal understood the slight concern that appeared around her eyes on the topic. So as he ran his hands up her legs and body, making sure to not take his eyes from hers. He wanted to make sure she understood, make sure she understood how important this was to him. Finally,when he had her full attention, and even though he still hadn't figured out how to say why the distinction was necessary, so he just started talking, "Foster is the name I called you because it was safe. Foster was married, Foster was adorable but off limits, Foster was my best friend, my partner, Foster was untouchable. There was a line between me and Foster that was to never be crossed,

But Gillian on the other hand. She is unexpected, wild, sweet, sexy, hot, insatiable, infinitely touchable, kissable. Gillian is an enchantress, a goddess of every sexual or intimate fantasy or moment of intimacy I have ever had in the last ten years or will have the rest of my life."

"You can't know that Cal..." she stated scared of his promise yet humbled by it

"Yes I can, and I can also promise you, as long as you allow me to touch you, as long as you allow me in your bed or come to mine, you will never be Foster here."

With tears swelling in her eyes and a smile on her face she leaned down and kissed him. The kiss was sweet, passionate, sensual, and deeply erotic. This man who knew the meaning of every facial twitch had proven that he knew words too. She saw the struggle in his face as he went for the heart, her heart. He wasn't lying, wasn't embellishing, he was, in essence, telling her he loved her. She still needed those words. But what he just said wiped out any doubt of what he felt for her, and if she, being the voice expert, knew anything, it was that in his own, roundabout way, facial twitching way just said I Love You in big bold letters. Being a woman of words, she needed those exact ones. He hadn't said them. Even when he asked her to marry him, he hadn't said them, all the times they were making love, he hadn't said them. She waited, and was only slightly disappointed. She didn't realize just how much she did need those words. Yet, she wasn't sure if she was ready to hear them. They were terrifying words. Words not easily said for people like them. Words that could allow her to soar her to great heights or crush her soul. So she did the only thing she could, the only way she could tell him at this point, she kissed him.

Cal was amazed. Every time they made love, it got better. Fast and hard, slow and smooth, didn't matter. It was good. And now, just kissing her was more amazing than even the really good sex they had been having for the past day and a half.

Cal Lightman returned to this topic in his mind after she fell into an extremely satisfying sleep. He knew he loved her, he didn't realized how much he depended on her to breath, to exist until this time with her. He realized that without her, he would have been a sodding bad father and ex-husband. He may not even have survived any of it without her. The number of times she picked him up and took care of him. At one time he had worried that Emily wasn't his, he had the proof she was, but other things pointed to infidelity by Zoë. He was able to immerse himself into the business and Gillian, instead of self-destructing as he was starting to do way back when. After the first time that he and Zoe had sex after the divorce and she had started dating some bloke, he knew she had cheated on him. Often from the evidence, but It really hadn't mattered at that point because now he was the one she was cheating with, and he did his best to show her what she was missing. He never wanted her back, but she was a beautiful woman who was willing or he could convince, to share his bed for a moment. There had been other women since his divorce. Mostly because he could, and wanted to strach an itch the Gillian had started. He would see flashes of jealousy, anger, but mostly sadness on Gillian's face before she would firmly place the mask in place. He took those women because they were fun, but didn't mean anything more than a good time. Even Sharon. Cal smiled at the memories of Gillian expressing just how much she loathed Officer Sharon Wallowski. He had hoped he could goad Gillian into making the first move then by "dating" Sharon. Gillian just buttoned down more than ever. No matter what he did, she stayed, cleaned up his messes, and stayed his partner. Remained his friend…he looked down at her sleeping form next to him, then she gave him hope.

Hope in the guise of a throw away quip to a point he was trying to make on the case with the ex-wives. Hope that sliced through him right to his soul.

"I couldn't get near you when you got divorced." he exclaimed about the whole mess.

"Maybe you didn't try hard enough." she stated

"You mean I had a chance?"

He had tried to hide the hope, but it kept leaking out.

That was it. May he hadn't tried hard enough. His heart took her words and ran. Ran right to his logical brain that couldn't override the warm feelings he got from the possibility of a chance. A Chance to be with her, a chance to love her, a chance to touch her. The more he thought about it, the more he wanted it. And two nights ago, she gave it to him. And even though she was working though some issues with him, he wasn't going anywhere, ever. She was it. She always had been. He fought against it, but how could he fight when she is on a "date" with the man from his case, and she up and called him, Cal Lightman, sexy. I mean really. What man wouldn't be lost.

He looked back down at her only to find the baby blues staring back.

"Are you finshed thinking?" she asked impishly.

"Brat."

Gillian gave a look of mock hurt at his comment. Then grinned. "Yeah, but you like it."

He wrapped his arms tighter around her and whispered against her forehead with a chaste kiss, "Abs-so-bloody-lutly."

"So, what were you thinking so intently about?" she asked seriously

"You" His soul was in his eyes. Since his soul was her, she saw herself reflected in his eyes. She really like it. She used to think that having all his intensity focused on her would be intimidating, but she was his equal in so many ways that instead of scaring her like it should, she felt giddy.

Hope you like this, and hopfully I can finally get them out of bed and her on the airplane

Reviews are always enjoyed. :)


	8. Chapter 8

**Ok, I am sorry this has taken so long to update. Believe it or not I haven't stopped thinking about it since I published chapter 7. This has been the hardest chapter to write yet. I'm hoping that I only have one chapter left until the end.**

 **Thank you for everyone still wanting to read this. Hope it doesn't disappoint.**

 **All mistakes are mine, I have no Beta.**

 **The characters aren't mine either, woe be me.**

 **Chapter 8**

Cal had just heard that Gillian was back. He was thrilled. Maybe now he would get some answers. She went on a trip to scope out new locations for the Group as well as do a few speaking engagements, a seminar or two, and spend some quality time with her sisters. It was going to be six weeks without his best friend. Normally that would have been irritating, but tolerable. That was before.

The Friday before she left, he had asked her to marry him. He wasn't sure what had gotten into him, but suddenly he felt the over whelming need to have her completely in his life, to take a risk, to truly love her the way she deserved to be loved.

She had rejected him.

He really didn't want to go into how much, those few hours after, he had worried. Worried he had mucked everything up. Mucked up his friendship, the best one he had ever hand with anyone. Mucked up his business, with the best partner anyone could ever have.

Then she showed up at his door and the rest of the weekend had been the best in his life. Then she had left. They made love in his car before they got to the airport. Just pulled off the side of the road, she hiked up her skirt, and climbed into his lap. She was perfect. Then, after he had parked at Dulles Airport, then, in the family restroom, up against the wall, at the airport before she went through the security check point. He had made sure to mark her in several places, making it memorable so that she would think of him often. It was only fair, her scratches down his back weren't going to heal anytime soon.

Cal had smiled while leaving the airport, feeling the sting of her scratches as he rubbed his hand along his side. He knew his gift to her would keep her thinking about him for a while as well. He knew he shouldn't have been that rough with her, but she made the most interesting and erotic noises every time his hand had come down hard on her ass cheeks. She would jump just a little and constrict her vaginal muscles around his cock, and it all was just so perfect.

She hadn't minded until she got up and took a shower. After, she came out and glared at him.

"What?"

She dropped her towel and turn around. "You did it on purpose didn't you. Knowing I'm going to be sitting in an uncomfortable seat for the next five hours, and this…" Pointing to her angry red bum, "is going to make it exponentially worse."

He just grinned at her. Her eyes got bigger. "You did do it on purpose, just so I would be thinking about you the whole flight."

"Will it help if I upgraded your seat to first class."

"Maybe." She pouted.

"Come here. Let me put some cream on it." He said sympathetically.

She walked over to the bed and laid down on her stomach. He started rubbing the cream on the most perfect ass he had ever seen. He would caress, and kneed, and pull at the cheeks, eliciting wonderful noises from the woman laying before him. How he had ever lived life without those sounds, he didn't know, because right now they were his lifeline, his sanity, his obsession, his peace. He had never understood the concept of 'home' being a woman, but when he was inside his Gillian, he was home, and never wanted to be anywhere else.

He worked very hard at being faithful to Zoe, his first wife, because he felt that he had made a commitment to her, and he wanted to keep it. Even when things were bad, he had been faithful. When she had filed for divorce, he was faithful until the divorce was final, then he went a little wild. With women and booze.

Gillian was always there, untouchable. She was married, and faithful. He loved that about her. He knew that her husband wasn't faithful, he guessed that Gillian knew, if not, it was because she didn't want to know. She pulled him out of the gutter that he had fallen into on many occasions and brought him home. She would stay the night in the guest room and make him breakfast the next day, making he was taken care of. She used to take him to her home, but her husband was less enthused with Cal's presence or the fact that his wife would take his drunken phone calls and anytime of the night or day and would rush out to take care of him. Cal had always gotten a perverse pleasure out of the fact that she would do this, if for no other reason it ticked off her husband that he had no respect for at all.

Gillian, he had respect for. Which was why he had refused to think of Gillian as the desirable woman she was. He knew if he ever thought about her romantically, he would be lost. Her Husband may not have deserved her, but neither did he.

It had broken his heart when she fell in love with Burns. Bloody Captain America. There was no way to compete with the man, especially after he had actually told Gillian what he did for a living. Then he had to leave for his job, his cover had been compromised, and that was that. He was left with a broken Gillian.

He hadn't wasted much time in trying to claim her. He needed her. There was nothing he wouldn't do for her. She was his best friend, the best business partner anyone could ask for, and the as far as a bed partner, she was more than he had ever imagined. She was a goddess, his goddess, and he was going to keep her.

He knew she had kept busy over that few weeks she was gone. Thankfully, she had always taken time to call him to say good morning as well as good evening. One afternoon, shortly before closing, she called, well, skyped actually. To say that she wowed him was an understatement

He heard his computer ringing while he was in the hall. He ran to catch it, hoping it was Gillian. It was. Her beautiful, unadorned face filled his screen.

"Are you alone with the doors locked?" she asked with a sweet smile.

He ran to the door, then back to the computer, sliding his chair as it caught him mid stride. "All locked up and lonely." He said to the woman on the screen.

She smirked, then stepped back, showing she was only wrapped in a towel. She had taken the towel off her head and was squeezing the excess water from her hair as she started talking with him. Nothing unusual, just one of their normal conversations. He just stared. Jaw slack, palms itching, and his member already wanting her.

He almost in control of himself and could almost hold a coherent conversation as she did her make up in the mirror next to her lap top, still carrying on like she had no clue that he was sitting there, hard as a rock, lusting after her.

Then she stepped away from the computer, then giving him her back, she dropped her towel. He knew that there was no way that she would ever be able to denote the groan that came from him as anything other than sexual.

She looked over her shoulder innocently as he made the sound.

"Did you say something Cal?"

"Gill, you know damn well what you are doing."

She smirked, "And what am I doing to you Cal?" she asked as she put on a beautiful pale pink bra that pushed up her mouth watering breast, and a pair of panties that he would give anything to be taking off her instead of watching her put them on. The color reminded him of their first night together, when she had worn the negligée, he had bought for her for Christmas a year earlier. Th color made her skin glow, begging to be touched, begging to be caressed and tasted.

At her comment, he moved the camera to show that he had already taken out his cock and it was thick, heavy, and hard just from watching her.

"Ohhh, you look like you might need some help with that." She said with the most innocent sultry smile. She brought the chair she had been sitting on to a little way in front of the lap top so he could see her, all of her, better.

When she straddled the chair, he groaned again. When she squeezed her breast, he was entranced, when she really started to get into it, he was mesmerized. He imagined her hands on her body were his.

"Are you imagining my mouth on you, kissing your neck, my hands kneading your breast." Then she made one of those sounds that he simply adored. Then she did something that almost make him cum without preamble. She slid her hand under her panties and moaned his name as she pleasured herself in front of him. His Gill was the perfect woman. A lady in public, and the best of whores in the bedroom. How had any of the other men she had been with ever think that they could live without this perfect woman.

He continued to watch her, stroking himself, encouraging her, coxing her, telling what he would be doing to her if he were there. Ever lick, every stroke. Using his voice to take her higher. Over their weekend together he had learned how much his voice could turn her on, it had come as a revelation.

"Fuck Gil, I'm going…"

"Yes Cal, cum for me, cum with me…"

He kept time with her pleasure with his hand stroking himself. This was scorching; she was so hot. He wasn't sure how much longer he was going to be able to be away from her, not being able to touch her, feel her, taste her. She was a drug, his drug, so much better than anything else he had ever tried in the past. If he had known it would be like this with her…he would have pressed his chances so much sooner, he may not have been able to wait for her or himself to be divorced. If he had known it would be this all-consuming with her, he would have gone all cave man on her and taken any where at any time she would have let him. When she got home, that was exactly what he was going to do.

He heard her cry of pleasure. He knew that sound well, he knew what that sound felt like with her hands scratching his back, her face buried into his shoulder and him buried deep inside her. He knew what it felt like when she cried her pleasure like this, and she milked his cock until he was spent. Now was no different. He didn't even have time to grab a tissue before he came all over himself. He was just glad he had another suit in his library.

When he looked back at the screen, he noticed she had folded up on herself. Head down, arms wrapped around her middle, her breathing was labored.

"What the bloody hell was that love?

She lifted her head and gave him a lazy smile. "Mmmm, I missed you."

Another night, he had met an old friend of hers. In fact, it was someone that her and her sisters used to babysit when they were young. The girls were twelve, and the boy was seven and his sister was five. When Gillian told him about seeing Dean, the kids name, she told him about how when they lived next door to the Jensen family, the kids would often run away from their sitter and visit the girls. Eventually, the girls were hired as after school care because they had to many sitters quit because they could never find the kids.

Well, Dean wasn't a child any longer, and it was more than evident that he had a crush on Gillian. Gillian Said that it was more than likely he had a crush on all four of the sisters.

One night, when dean had come to pick up Gillian for a meet and great of some of his clients. He and his sister owned a security company, and he had offered to introduce Gillian to some of his higher end clients, in a poker game. Gillian thought it was a wonderful idea. What better way to show of what they had to offer, than in a poker game?

She had gone to the bathroom to fix up her makeup, this gave he and Dean a chance to talk. They had been talking on skype as they had done often since she had left.

"You don't have to worry about anything. These guys just play for fun."

"I'm not worried about Gill and the game." He said crossing his arms.

"I won't let anything happen to her."

Cal raise an eyebrow.

"And you don't need to worry about anyone trying to take her home. I'll make sure she gets back safe and sound."

Cal was still silent.

Dean sighed, "I'll say goodnight at the door. Cal, you have nothing to worry about. I don't go after taken women and judging by the way that she talks about you, she is very taken."

That comment made the cave man in him roar. His woman, all other men beware.

"But you would go after her if she wasn't"

"Oh, Hell Yeah."

Cal wasn't amused.

They had gotten four new clients from that card game.

He missed her. So much so that it interfered with his ability to do the mundane work that his job required. So, when Sharon showed up with an interesting case, he jumped at the chance to immerse himself in some field work. The case had been exactly what he needed, a week of chasing bad guys in the seedy underworld. Everything went great. They went to his place and offered her the guest bath to get cleaned up, then he would take her home. They were both were rather rank and filthy from the weeks activities and he wasn't going to allow her, or himself for that matter, in his car the way they were.

He had been so excited. Gillian was coming home the next day, and he had a few things to do before he picked her up the next evening.

He was so excited; he was even singing in the shower.

He was so excited that it took a moment that there was someone in the room with him.

There she was, naked, asleep, in his bed.

"SHARON! What the bloody hell do you think you are doing?"

Sharon wasn't sure what had happened. They had a great week, he was sure he didn't do anything that could be interpreted as wanting to take up where they had left off over a year ago. He only took the case because he missed Gillian and needed something to occupy his time and his mind.

"Get out Sharon."

She didn't know why he was so angry with her. They had fun together, she just wanted to have a little more. He was good in bed, and it had been a long time since she had even ok. She had come to him with the hope that they could get back together, a friends with benefits type thing. Scratch each other's itches from time to time. She knew he wasn't interests in any serious, neither was she.

"Get out"

"I just thought that while my clothes are drying, we could have a little fun…"

"I don't care if you have to go buck naked, I want you out of my house now. "Damn, now he needed to wash the sheets again. He had put the set on that Gillian had given him one year. They were comfy, and soft, and his favorite. "And even think about taking my sheet with you." It was a special set after all.

As Sharon ran out of the room, he pulled on a pair of sweats and started stripping the sheets off the bed and pillows. A short time later he heard her on her cell calling for a cab, and then the door slam shut.

It only stopped him for a moment when he realized that she was running naked through his house, and all he could think about is how much he wished she was Gill.

All of that was a lifetime ago, he had gotten a text from Gill late that night saying that she was staying in LA, there was a lot of potential, and she wanted to check some things out. She hadn't even ended it with any endearments, an I miss you, an I love you, nothing. He was suspicious, he just couldn't figure out why. He texted her multiple times per day, she only gave curt short answers. He was confused. He called her sisters; they wouldn't talk to him. Finally, he called Dean Jenson.

"Is she there?"

Dean heard the despair in the other man's voice.

"Yes, she is."

"Is she ok?"

"Not really. She cries herself to sleep most nights. She has made herself sick to the point of throwing up more than once. She puts on a great mask when dealing with clients, but nights…well, those are different. "

"What happened?" Cal could feel his own tears welling up in his eyes.

"I don't know. She called asking if I could pick her up at the airport and asked if the offer to stay with me was still open. You screwed up Lightman. I don't know what or how you did it, only that you did."

"And you are just ready and willing to take my place."

"I'm not the only one, trust me."

Cal already knew that there were always men lined up, more than willing to be the object of her affections.

"Was that Cal?" Gillian asked sadly.

"Yes." Dean sighed.

'Well, it took him longer than expected to find me." She figured that he had been occupied while she was gone, so she didn't feel much of a need to get back anytime soon. She had been gone an extra month before he thought to look for her here. She knew he had called her sisters, and a few friends. She had purposely not told anyone where she was or why she was hiding from Cal.

"You are going to need to talk to him soon."

"I know. I just don't know how. Not after…."

"After what?"

"Nothing."

"Gilly-Bean, I'm here for you, although it is just my curiosity that is wondering, I also want to help any way I can. I love you. Always have." He said sincerely.

"I know. I'm just not sure if I can…." Suddenly she was in tears again. Dean picked her up, bridal style, and then sat in a big, overstuffed recliner and pulled the lever back. After all the times that he had held her as she cried over the last month, this seemed the be the most comfortable for both of them.

Now he was here, racing his car to the office, because Loker had just called to tell him that Gillian was back.


	9. Chapter 9

**I want to say thank you to everyone who has kept reading this story, even though I had writers block for what seemed like forever.**

 **All mistakes are mine the Characters are not.**

Cal raced into the office.

"She's in her office." He heard Heidi say as he passed. He waved an acknowledgement to her.

Then he saw her, talking on the phone, typing out a few things on the computer. She was achingly beautiful. He didn't miss the sadness that showed in her eyes and wondered at that happened that put that sadness there. There was no doubt in his mind that he had caused the pain he saw. He just didn't know what he did.

"Gill." He whispered.

He watched as she took a deep breath and braced her hands on the desk. Then she closed the laptop and went to the printer. Checked a few of the papers and walked to him. She handed the papers to him "Everything should be up to date and in order."

"What is all this about Gill?" he asked as he looked at the papers. He couldn't make out what any of them were. He couldn't concentrate on anything but that his best friend and the love of his life was back.

"It is the paperwork to set up the office in LA. The prospectus, as well as a detailed analysis of the…"

"I don't give a damn about the LA prospectus. Gill, please, tell me what I did. Whatever it is, I'm sorry."

Her back was to him, but she whispered something.

"What was that love?" He asked coming closer to her. It hurt when she pulled away form him when he touched her shoulder.

She turned to him with fire and hurt of his betrayal, "I. Saw. Her." She said succinctly.

"Saw who?" he asked genuinely confused. He knew she was angry, angrier than he had ever seen her, but he still had no clue why she was angry at him.

"What do you mean who, how many have there been?" Her tone accusatory.

"If I knew what you were talking about, I could give you a better answer." He was trying not to let his natural, abrasive, selfish tendencies take over. He didn't want to push her away for any reason. He already knew that this was his final chance, if he didn't fix whatever he broke, he would lose her forever. Failure was not an option. So, Cal sucked it up and waited for her to explain, using every tool in his tool box to express to her his feelingsl

"I missed you, so I came home a day early to surprise you. I was the one who got the surprise wasn't I?"

 _Fuck me_ he thought.

"Everything coming back to you now? I saw her naked in your bed while you were happily singing in the shower. Must have had a great time."

He took her by the shoulders. "Gillian, I need you to look at me. I need you to listen to me." He knew he only had one chance. He had no intention of ever seeing Sharon again. He had no desire to be with any other woman other than the one that was so angry in front of him.

But at least she was looking at him. He could work with that.

"I was missing you so much. I was going stir crazy waiting for you to come back, then Sharon showed with a…"

"Please tell me you aren't trying to blame me…"

Once again, he was mucking things up. "No, of course not, but Sharon came to me with this interesting case and…"

"You just couldn't help yourself?"

She was his blind spot, but she wasn't hiding her anger, or her pain over finding another woman in his bed.

"You have every right to be angry at me. If things were reversed, I would have been…."

"Things wouldn't have been reversed."

"You don't know that."

"I've never cheated on a man that I was with." She yelled.

"And I didn't cheat on you." he yelled back.

That stopped her. She could have sworn he was telling the truth, but she was so unsure…about everything.

"After the case, I let her use the downstairs bath to take a shower. I came out of the shower to find her in my bed, I made her leave and told her in no uncertain terms that I never wanted to see her again for any reason. I even washed the sheets again."

She was so quiet, staring at him, looking for the truth of his words. His first instincts were to run and hide. He knew if he did that, he would lose her forever, and that wasn't an option. So, he let down all of his walls, all of his masks, all of the things that he had painstakingly put into place over the years, gone, so this one women, this most important woman, would be able to see the truth.

He knew the moment that she saw him, saw the truth in his face, heard the truth in his voice.

"God Gill, I love you. How could you think that after that weekend we had, that I would be interested in any other woman? You kind of broke me. The only thing you can do is make an honest man out me and marry me."

She smiled and cried at the same time. He wanted to be closer to her, but she pushed him away. "Oh Cal. I'm so sorry that I never gave you a chance to explain before."

"That is ok love, if the role were reversed, I would have jumped to the same conclusion. And given my reputation, your conclusion wasn't much of a leap."

His admission just made her cry more. "Oh God Cal, I can't. I can't marry you. You deserve so much better than me."

"Better doesn't exist. You are it." He so wanted to put his arms around her and dry her tears.

"No, you deserve better than being married to a woman and not knowing if she married you because she loved you, or if she just thought you would make a good father."

"I am a good father." He said defensively.

"I know." She said, the tears flowing freely down her face.

"You mean…"

"I'm pregnant."

To say he was astounded by her words was an understatement. He took a step back from her, knowing that although he had been faithful all this time, she hadn't. More than likely, that Dean guy was the father. That would make sense. She had stayed with him for a long time. He was sure that the tall, dark, handsome, and a younger Dean coxed her into his bed. He had taken advantage of her, and accomplished the impossible, gotten her pregnant.

He couldn't be all that unhappy for her, she would be an amazing mother. Something that had been denied her for so long. If anyone deserved to have their dream, it was her.

"Does the father know?" he asked, afraid to look at her for fear she would see the pain in his eyes.

"Yes." He heard her say.

"Good, good." He started walking away, then came back, "How did he take it?"

"He is a little confused at the moment." He read her face enough to know that was the truth.

He walked back towards the door to her office. He put his hand on the doorknob. "I wouldn't have care." He said.

"What?" she asked, almost as quietly.

He turned to her. "I wouldn't have cared, I still don't…. care if you had married me because you thought I would be a good father. I love you Gill. Your child is a part of you, I would have loved both of you without reservation." With that, he turned the knob, and walked out of her office.

If he had stayed one more moment, he would have heard her sob of anguish. She wasn't sure what just happened, but she had to make things right.

Without another thought, she ran out of her office.

"CAL!" she yelled down the busy hall. She noticed he was just about to enter his office. His shoulders were a bit slumped over. He turned to look at her.

"Yes Love."

She noticed that just about every member of the Lightman Group seemed to be in the hall at the same time. She figured they were all waiting to see if mom and dad would make up and things would go back to normal. She didn't have time to tell them, things were never going to be the same again.

So, here she was, about to change every person in the company's life.

"Will you marry me?"

She watched the catch in his breath, his expression guarded, but changing.

"Why?" he asked.

She smiled.

"Why what?"

"Why are you asking me to marry you?" he asked, head tilted, taking a tentative step towards her.

"Why aren't you answering." She had gone over the original conversation in her mind the past three months, analyzing every bit, wondering what had gone so wrong. Now she knew.

"Give me a good reason." He said not missing a beat. He seems to have lived this conversation just as many times as she had.

She smirked. "Because we make sense."

Both people were so engrossed in what they were saying, neither noticed that everyone in the hall was playing tennis looking back and forth between the two.

She had expected him to laugh, given the reenactment of the original conversation. He seemed to want to jump ahead.

"In what universe do we make sense?" he said seriously.

She took a few steps towards him. "This one. I know this is an odd way of doing things…."

He smiled finally, "Odd? This goes beyond odd." He took a few steps towards her.

"Just hear me out, would you." She continued and took a deep breath. "We make sense because in the here and now there is no one I love more, not to mention that one weekend with you destroyed me for all other men. Also, don't you think our children should know their father as their father instead of a favorite uncle?"

That got him. "You mean that I'm…."

She nodded.

"That we…."

She nodded again.

"Wow."

"Yeah, it was a really good weekend." She smirked at him.

"Cheeky wench."

"Wait, you said, children, we are talking about future children, right?"

She shook her head. "I am one of four, one of us was bound to have more than one at a time."

"How many?" he was stunned.

"Not exactly sure. Since I didn't think I could get pregnant, I only recently found out. I mean, it was a really great weekend."

He blew the air from his lungs, "Life changing weekend."

Then she smiled. One of her special, light up his dreary life smiles. A smile he hoped his children would inherit. Good grief. CHILDREN. Plural…. he was too old for this, but not stupid enough to let his miracles slip through his hands.

He moved her arms from in front of her to look at her belly. "Loker?" the asked without taking his eyes off Gillian

"Judge Simons will be here in about three hours. He said he wouldn't miss this for anything. Also called Vincent Tuxedo, and they are sending over a tux for you" Loker called out.

"Heidi" Cal called next. He had full confidence in his employees to know what needed to get done, and like always, they were rising to the occasion.

"Just got off the phone with the Hensley's Florist, Pam said she would have made something extra special right now, and she can't wait, especially since she won the pool. She'll have it here in the time frame. She is very excited, as is Erin from Erin's Bridal who is sending over a few dresses that she thought Dr. Foster might like. I told her about the pregnancy, so she is choosing accordingly."

"Torres"

"Getting people up here to clear up the main conference room and decorate. Also, already contacted Lee's catering. They had a cancelation and are bringing over some food. Since the family didn't want it, and they are paying for everything, it will be no charge."

Then Heidi chimed in. "Mackie was just on the phone and said that she would bring the drinks. Something extra special for the bride. And I just called Emily, she is thrilled. She will be here in twenty minutes to help."

"So, is this a yes?" Gillian asked.

The room stopped when she asked. Everyone was quiet waiting for his answer.

"It is most definitely yes. Forever. Yes." And he took her face in his hands and kissed her.

"What about my family?"

"We can live stream!" Loker interjected.

"Are the numbers in your…." Torres started

Gillian handed the younger woman her phone. "They are all listed under family."

"From what I'm able to figure, I have about fifteen minutes to have you to myself before all hell breaks loose." With that he dragged her into his office closed the door behind them.

He wanted to kiss her, but when he approached, she stopped him.

"Don't, you have no idea how turned on I am right now, and I don't think I can handle you touching me right now, especially with the impromptu wedding that is happening in about three hours. I can't believe this is happening."

"Did you think I was going to give you time to change your mind."

She giggled at him. He loved that sound. He started unbuttoning her blouse.

"Cal, I said…"

"Shh…I just want to see how my…children…have changed you." He said reverently.

"Can't this wait."

"No, now hush." And he let her blouse fall to the floor, her bra was next. They were considerably larger. The blue veins were prominent with her pale skin. He ran the backs of his fingers over each breast, memorizing the changes, then he took both hands and ran them down her sides, to her fuller waist. Her pants were riding low on her hips, and there was a slight, but noticeable bump.

They did it. He and Gillian had created a miracle. The knowledge brought him to his knees.

She was glad there was a wall behind her to lean on, while she watched the man she loved whisper against her belly to their children growing there.

It seemed they had less time than originally thought. Suddenly they heard a commotion in the outer office. Gillian didn't bother putting her bra back on, her breast where over sensitive anyway, so she just put on her shirt. She had the last button buttoned up when Torres burst through the door.

With her eyes closed she called out to them. "Dresses are here. Is everyone decent?"

"Everything is fine. Oy, you can open your eyes." He stated slightly irritated that he didn't have Gillian skin to touch anymore.

"You get to leave Cal; I'm taking over your office."

"Why my office, why not yours?" he pouted.

She walked up to him in a sexy sultry way, oblivious to the stares she was getting from the women that had the dresses. "Because yours is bigger and more private." She ran her fingers up and down the buttons of his shirt. "You can get dressed in my office."

Torres was spellbound. She always knew that Gillian Foster was a sexy woman, and those were the times she wasn't even trying. Watching her now, she completely understood why Lightman was gaga over her. When she leaned in and kissed her boss, Torres felt like she was witnessing and incredibly intimate act. One that would not usually be shared. She knew that she should turn away and let them have their moment,

Torres did notice that Erin and her two female assistants were staring just as intently at her bosses kissing. Torres had seen Cal kiss many, many…. well, many women. He flaunted his proclivity around the office on a regular basis. In all that time she had never seen him kiss like this, or Foster for that matter. They put their whole bodies into the kiss. They were perfectly molded together with no gaps, no spaces.

"Keep kissing me like that, and we are going to need the office for something else first."

"Oh no, we are not having a quickie in your office."

"Why not?"

Torres was amazed that they still seemed totally oblivious to the other four people in the room.

"Because you have no idea how aroused I am right now, and once I get you inside me, I'm not letting go any time soon. Not to mention, it is going to be fun, in a few hours, I'm going to own every part of you."

"You already do, love." He kissed her tenderly, as if he had all the time in the world to feel her with him.

Cal hated having her out of his sight. It frustrated him that she hadn't confronted him about the Sharon incident, but he understood that, in all reality, if he were being honest with himself, he couldn't blame her for her reaction. She was used to him being a womanizer, she hadn't really had the time to understand how deeply he felt for her. He didn't want her to be getting ideas that he wasn't totally and completely hers. He knew it was going to take time and work to earn her complete trust, and he was humbled by the fact that she was willing to allow him that opportunity.

As Cal walked out the door, the four women just stared slaked jawed. Torres looked at her favorite boss and noticed the besotted smile on her face.

"Well, that happened." Torres stated.

Gillian looked at her, they had a silent conversation. Then Foster smiled and said, "Yes, I guess it did."

"About damn time." Torres retorted with a smile.

"Couldn't agree more."

 **So, now it is up to you, the readers, to tell me if:**

 **1) You want me to end this there and start working on sequals (I have The Practice/Lie to Me/Ties that Bind/Medical Investigations cross overs working overtime in my head.**

 **2) Just end it already and write something different**

 **3) Write the wedding, honeymoon, and birth-then work on sequals.**


End file.
